LIFE

yeah....g percaya hidup ini indah..walo kita terkadang ngerasa sakit....& kehilangan org2 yg kita cintai....cici kangen lolin...ade cici yg paling cici sayang, ade cici satu2nya....sayang banget2...mungkin slama ini ada cara2 yg salah buat nunjukin sayangnya.tapi ga ada kog kakak yg benci ma adenya....i miss you my little angel....you're in heaven now...i miss you, i love you & wait for me yah lin..until my time is arrive, i'll be seeing you...i'm sorry i just cried again....i miss you my little sistah....from your big sistah....God please take a good care of her... & I'm sorry God, i'm still cannot be a perfect & better person in Your eyes...i'm really sorry..sometimes i feel like not "worthed" to be Your child, but i know, You all-forgiving to Your child...Thank you God for everything...i <3 You God..Please bless mom & dad too..bless my family...& i always know, You will give THE BEST in everything.....i give you all of my life God....

kill my anger

i just told my bro, Rin, sometimes i share things that i cannot share with anyone. okay...so what i have to do is...DO NOT let my freakin' big ego, take control of me, yeah, they r like weeds. huh, I HV TO TAKE CONTROL OF MYSELF, WON'T LET MY EGO CONTROL IT. NEVER NEVER EVER.

& i do trust my baby, so, other thing to do is, when my freakin' ego try 2 control me, i MUST remember it in my head & heart, TRUST TRUST & TRUST. yeah TRUST CINDY!!!!!!!!!! YOU TRUST HIM RIGHT, SO??????? WHAT ELSE MATTER THAN THAT, IT'S JUST YOU & HIM! REMEMBER THAT, JUST LIKE A PYRAMID, HURRICANE CAN'T SHAKE US :)
i trusting you hunny, i love you so much, i'm really sorry. i love you i love you i love you much more everyday!

hahahaha....;D

always remember,

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

note from my brother Rin,
TRUST MORE IMPORTANT THAN LOVE, YOU CAN ALWAYS LOVE THE PERSON YOU TRUST
BUT YOU CAN'T ALWAYS TRUST THE PERSON YOU LOVE
AND ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE YOU LOVE OTHERS. SO YOU KNOW HOW TO TREAT THEM AS GOOD AS YOU TREAT YOURSELF.

thankyou so much brother, i'll always remember that. ;) have a great Sunday too by the way!

i feel..

i feel fuck today. lost my mood. sleep just for 3 hours with a fuckin' terrified nightmare, rrrrrggggh, damn it!

when i open my fb acc i just found these quotes..

You can't have a relationship without any fights, but you can make your relationship worth the fight.

There is no greater love than from those who know all your faults, and love you anyway. Remember: "To love, is to forgive!"

Everything changes except the nature of God and the nature of man. -@RickWarren

Learn to take risks in life because if you win, you can lead and if you lose, you can guide.

the last but not least, & i just feel that it just so true is..

A man should look for what he is, and not for what thinks he should be. –B.C. Schramme

have a great great morning. i hope today will not be sucks for me.

.....................

i really need someone right now. i need you to be here with me. i cannot sleep. please i just need your hug to make me feel safe.

..............

i just wanna cry.........

...

today, i'm screwed up. i'm fucking screwed up. so fucking childish, not grow up at all... I'm sorry B I feel like I screwed up your day............................................................................................................

i know i have to let go........ let it go..........release.........the nightmare from my past..........the darkest & the worse that ever happened to me...........................release...............set myself free.....from this fuckin' chain.........

i love you B, i dont want to hurt you because of my behavior & my thought, I'm really sorry...I'm just scared I will lose you....I'm just scared...I love you so much.........& I'm sorry....i'm really sorry.....

God, please help me.....give strength, please...i can't do this alone...i need You...i need Your help....i need Your miracle....please God..

my baby told me 'bout this song & i love it so much! hahahaa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlpeDpAmkQM

morning with love.

my honeyB, just way too sweet....he brought me a breakfast this morning, & suddenly he just shown up in kondo ;) dia sempet2in mampir sblm kerja cm bwt beliin & anterin sarapan..
i know that's just a simple thing, but you must know that, i love the simple things. it just feels like, someone cares about you. & it just makes me feel so comfort. i never meet someone like him. he makes me feel so comfort, he always thinking about my feeling, sometimes i just feel like he shows me some thing real, dunno why. or maybe i never find someone who cares like him. he's open my mask..my disguise..open my eyes..2 back to the real me.. & he's the only man that i ever found in my life so far, that never force me to grow my hair become long. Geez....surprised! HAHAHAHA.

i fall in love with him in a different way, not like what i used to be when i fall in love. i fall in love with him in...an amazing way. i feel like, i've known him before, but it's not. i just feel the connection with him when i'm with him. i just feel it.. that.. i love him so much. yeah, i love him so much. i won't lose him. i will never let him go. no matter what happen in the future, i'll keep holding on as long as i can. i just feel like, there's nobody like him. i love the way he shows his affection to me. & i will always fight for what i love. i'll try to be a better person, so that i can be his Mrs. Right. hope i can. i want to make him happy. he 'can' gave me a new heart, he's the only one who can do that. he can cure my pain with his affection, slowly but sure, little more & little more everyday, it recover slowly. i hope i can make it long, he can make it long, we can make it long.

I love you my baby Brian Agezar. I say it from my heart. Yeah, I LOVE YOU B!

Today, November 17th 2011

udah lama banget g ga nulis blog, update, curhat segala macem. well, today i decided to write more in my own blog.

Seminggu lagi pelajaran g di LPTB Susan Budihardjo abis. & ga nyangka kalo dipikir2, waktu itu bener2 cepet banget berlalu tanpa lu sadarin, ky lu tuh naek mobil yg tnp lu sadarin mobil tuh melaju dengan lumayan cepet & pas u liat jalan, oh man, shit, lu uda lewatin berkm2 tnpa lu sadarin.

yeah kira2 begitu lah yg ada dipikiran g sekarang. sometimes, semua kejadian2 di hidup g, terlintas dipikiran g satu persatu tanpa g inginin, it just like a movie. & seiring berjalanny waktu, g sadar, slama 21 thn ini, g udah belajar banyak banget dalam hidup ini, yg seneng, yg susah, yg sedih, yg bahagia, yg kecewa, yg sakit & dibalik semua itu ada 1 hal yg paling penting, pegangan, yg ga pnh boleh kita lepasin, yaitu "harapan". krn tanpa itu, lu atopun g ga akn bertahan dalam hidup ini.

& tnyt banyak hal2 yg tjdi diluar rencana. banyak rencana2 yg berubah. tentuny kita manusia cm bis merencanakan, hanya Tuhanlah yg bisa menentukan. & walo kadang kita ngerasa sakit, kecewa & trus bertanya2, why? kenapa? kenapa g? the answer is....
semua masalah yg ada di hidup lu, itu akn membentuk karakter & diri utk menjadi pribadi yg lbh baik & lbh dewasa lg. Trust me. walo emng awalny trasa sangat sulit. tapi, percaya, pada akhirny semua itu akan "worthed" kog buat hidup u & buat diri u. tetep semangat, keep the faith & the spirit. stay, be yourself, never change just for being liked/loved, if you wanna change, change to be better, BUT STILL, BE YOURSELF.

regards,
me <3 girl_in_move